


And Be One Traveler, Long I Stood

by Jalapeno_Helen



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27634003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jalapeno_Helen/pseuds/Jalapeno_Helen
Summary: For every road traveled, there is a risk and a reward. Heimdall cannot tell Loki which road to choose, but he can watch, and hope.
Relationships: Loki/Steve Rogers
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57





	And Be One Traveler, Long I Stood

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://norsekink.livejournal.com/8195.html?thread=16564739#t16564739) ( _Loki contemplates the risk/reward factors of being in a dedicated relationship with a mortal_ ). Title borrowed from Robert Frost's _The Road Not Taken_. Originally posted in 2012, so the Surtur briefly mentioned in this story is not necessarily the same as the Surtur in _Thor: Ragnarok_ (which I loved).

Heimdall sees all things, in all places, at all times.

He witnesses a summer storm gathering over Asgard farms; the roaring snowbirds migrating through Jotunheim; events, both small and significant, unfolding four realms to the north and four realms to the south, and in Midgard, which lies in the center. He is gifted, too, with future-sight, and must turn away fortune-seekers (mothers and children, servants and kings) who wish to exploit his ability for their own benefit. _Your road lies before you, and it twists and splits in many directions,_ he tells them. _I cannot be a compass to guide the way. You must choose for yourself._

Loki’s road is more tangled than most. It crests over mountains and sinks into valleys; it ends at some points and circles in others, leaving him lost and frustrated. (Heimdall, who does not often spare sentiment, concedes that Loki's circumstances were not fair; Odin should never have taken what was not his, but those roads are now closed to them. They can only press forward.) As an adult, Loki’s heavyheartedness led him down villainous, wicked paths, and Heimdall desired to caution the young prince against such behavior—but it was not his place, as he did not command enough of Loki’s respect to make a difference. The task of setting Loki aright, if it could be accomplished at all, would fall on another’s shoulders.

In the end, Steve Rogers carried the burden.

When Surtur and his forces struck Asgard, the Avengers loyally arrived to Thor’s aid, as he had done for Earth numerous times before. Amidst the unexpected, chaotic siege, Loki’s map diverged in three directions: join his brother and protect the city; assist Surtur and betray his brethren; take neither side and save himself. Heimdall predicted Loki would favor the third path—but as Loki made to flee the assault, Heimdall saw him turn to where the palace burned in the distance, where his brother fought for his life, and Loki did something few ever can: he chose another road. He hurried to ally with Thor and the others, arriving in time to retrieve the Captain’s shield, fling it back to him, and boldly plunge into the fight.

Between Loki, the Midgardians, and Odin's army, they managed to drive Surtur out.

Three of Thor’s teammates returned promptly to their realm, intent on protecting their own homeland from whoever would take advantage. Steve Rogers and Bruce Banner, however, remained in Asgard, assisting in the city’s reconstruction. Loki, too, lingered so that he could contribute to the engineering efforts, a muted, humble gesture that Heimdall did not expect. Outwardly, in view of guards and the King, Loki held himself pridefully—but the hours spent in the Captain’s solitary presence, carting away stones and rebuilding homes, brought him a rare peace. They coexisted calmly, communicating with body language and, later, verbal expression.

In the following months, the city became whole. Heimdall watched from his post, noting the way Loki and Steve, both of whom could never call Asgard their true home, did not wander far from each other. Loki made a point of leading Steve to quiet places: the forest, where a clean river runs through, or high towers, the height of which afforded them a grand view. Loki’s strange kindness unsettled Thor, but Heimdall assured his future king that Loki did not intend Steve Rogers harm. Rather, Loki realized his actions during Odin’s sleep would not, and should not, be forgotten—and that Steve was one of the few who would allow Loki the chance to remake his image. 

Loki withdrew when he learned Steve and Bruce would depart once the palace had been repaired, going so far as to vanish on the day of their egress. Because Steve Rogers’ road lay before him, and because Heimdall’s future-sight cannot be a compass, Steve left Asgard without the knowledge that Loki had reluctantly grown to need him. 

He watched Loki exist in the fringes of Asgard; he watched the Avengers shoulder their duties in Manhattan; he watched Muspelheim, Svartalfheim, Jotunheim. He watched Steve Rogers, who regularly inquired about Loki when Thor visited Earth, expressing a sincere urge to see him. Thor acknowledged Steve’s sentiments, only to gently suggest it was best that Loki keep away from their fragile planet. The advice, while wise, convinced Steve of Loki’s indifference, and Loki of his own repugnancy.

April, May and June passed in America when, finally, Loki walked the long route to the Bifrost. Heimdall spied him before he ever arrived. 

“Your road lies before you, and it twists and splits in many directions. I cannot be a compass to guide the way. You must choose for yourself,” Heimdall said, when at last Loki solemnly appeared. “But I will tell you this: Steve Rogers wishes your presence on Earth.”

There, on the bridge, Loki’s road split again. 

Gods and mortals do not easily love together: choosing Steve would oblige Loki to protect Midgard at the Avengers’ side; to accept Steve’s susceptibility to hunger, thirst, illness and sleep; to keep company with his friends, regardless of whether they welcomed Loki; and to understand that he would, inevitably, outlive them all. 

But the second road was not without its merits. A life in Midgard would be filled with much joy—Steve was a faithful man who would be a faithful spouse. He was patient, forgiving, selfless, and charitable, and, like Loki, did not feel fully integrated with everyday life. Their displacement would give Steve and Loki the opportunity to learn together, combining their maps and choosing roads as partners. 

As a kindness, Heimdall added, “Neither direction will spare you pain. You can suffer his absence now, or suffer it later.” 

In the end, Loki had gone to Midgard. Heimdall watched his journey to Earth, and to Steve, who, moments before, had been breaking bread with his team. In the time it took a raindrop to hit the planted fields, or a snowbird to flap its enormous wings, Loki had implored Steve’s forgiveness with the mere act of being there; Steve granted it, under the condition Loki would not run away again.

His life with Steve Rogers had been, as Heimdall foresaw, filled with much joy.

And now, here, again, years since Steve’s graceful descent into old age and death: Loki standing with Heimdall at Asgard’s gates. 

“I know why you are here,” Heimdall says.

“And I know what you will say,” Loki parries. “'My road lies before me, and it twists and splits in many directions. You cannot be a compass to guide the way. I must choose for myself.'”

Faraway is the sound of the waterfall. It is wide and beautiful, and Loki stares into it. He is thinking about his life before now, before he accepted a half-kingship and apportioned the throne with Thor. 

“You are so quick to refuse sharing your future-sight,” Loki says. “But I wonder if you might share other truths.”

“You wish to know if you made the right decision.”

“Yes.”

“I did caution that you would suffer his absence regardless.”

“Yes, you did.”

“You mourn him.”

“Yes,” Loki echoes. “Constantly.”

“And would you take it all back, if such an option were available to you?”

On the opposite side of the bridge: the sound of a young girl laughing, followed by Thor’s booming voice playfully calling after her. Loki looks to where she is practicing swords with her uncle. Her black hair and green eyes are Loki’s, but Steve is apparent in the way she strives, at all times, to be truthful and fair. She is their daughter in every respect, and will one day rule Asgard with Steve’s clemency and Loki’s wit. 

Loki shakes his head. 

He would not take it back. 

Heimdall says nothing, but he sees Valhalla, where Steve is waiting patiently for his husband to arrive. To get there, Loki's road will split in many directions, cresting over mountains and sinking into valleys, ending at some points and circling in others, but his map is much clearer now, and he will follow the highest paths until the journey finally, finally ends.

FIN.


End file.
